a short retirement comes to an abrupt end, leaving mixed feelings in it's wake, the adult and the child argue the merits of their case while work somehow gets done. long awaited arrivals in shorthand gestures make for good company, while backs stick to moist chairs in the waning hours of the night. wishing for an ideal will not bring it any closer to fact, manifesting and molding days to fit comfortably into compartments. there is no good way to say it..............
the light is fading slowly into autumn shades, it is slipping, the power to wash all saturation away sliding over into next year at this time. taking for granted that the march of time will remain steady as it has for the visible past, recorded words that could pass for discarded corner junk waiting to soak up the coming rain and spit out the goodness to all who pass...........
it has been brought to my attention that i have been repeating images in the past few posts, for that i apologize. it has also been said that i sound like i am whining and or really depressed so i feel that i should set the record straight. i am not experiencing depression nor have i experienced depression since i have started this endeavor. i am quite content with where i am in this existence, i also feel that i am blessed beyond belief with everything i could need and want, more than i could want most days. i have a wonderful wife that i love to death. i have two dogs that keep me on my toes, either dancing with laughter or chasing down the end of the earth. we together have a child on the way, as every other thirty-something in this town does. i cannot even begin to express how exciting and scary that is(the fact that we are going to be parents). i have a job that i love, i have quite a bit of free time to spend however i see fit, people sometimes like pictures that i make and see it fit to put them in their living spaces, which is such a huge compliment and i am so very thankful. in other words i am quite happy. put bluntly, i usually sit down and type whatever comes to mind. most of the time this leads to incoherent nonsense that can be psycho-analyzed and deconstructed in about a thousand different ways, maybe creating a defense mechanism that allows me to stand behind it and observe the absurdity of our lives, or maybe it is what it looks like..........
i have nothing to say, that is to say that i am saying nothing, although nothing is subjective even though it is nothing, meaning no-thing, going this direction, i guess that all of these words are no-thing, depending on what one considers to be a thing, i have no dictionary at hand so therefore i cannot assimilate another's definition of "thing", so i suppose that i will have to accept the responsibility of defining "thing" for myself. thank you for letting me waste your time....whoever you are..........if there is indeed a "you" out there........
brought to the attention of an absent mind, the repeat, an outcome of analog thinking in digital thought, catching up in the last few days has given perspective, the where's and how's are beginning to surface in a foam-like substance on the banks. the motions of home, and the grounding therein, this is what i was looking for..............
the images burn into eyes that wait for the carnage of modern communication, everything advertising everything and everything being advertising. the beats continue on endlessly, seamlessly mending the cracks which threaten to undermine the best of intentions, remembering is irrelevant, timing is everything..........
a flooded field of insignificance as informed by senses well formed by screens and old fashioned ism's. a race to fill the cup, walk faster, dump into a waiting cup on the other side of a line drawn in the sand, the dog days are treating me well, employment eggs the clock on, to come forward, show itself, give a new sense of newness to the passing minutes and appreciation to the slowly wilting leaves of neglected trees. a telling silence fills the nights, listening hard, one can hear the morning coming. of course, sonically decadent nights in a basement have left me not hearing so well, and my eyes can't fill fast enough..........
the end result of guilt complexes arranged by blameless anonymity, a work ethic gone astray or simply set foot in unknown territory that seeks a new approach, less marketing and more genuine. the tried and true may have failed, and so on and so forth, there is an irresistible draw of open space, close confines of itchy newness on a hot day, certain positions bring with them more pressure, as if i am a totally passive bystander.........
